Follow by Email

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Water under the bridge

I make myself laugh sometimes..... well, a lot really, I really do just kind of laugh out loud randomly for something that maybe I should have said or remember saying.... but I mean it in a different way today.....  It has been SO long since I blogged and it really wan't because of how busy I was.  I could have made time.  It was really because in my mind the last blog I posted was really emotional and was a "poor me" story.  I was feeling insecure and embarrassed about what I wrote.  What I remembered was the hurt I was feeling at the time.  I had been deeply hurt by people I considered to be close friends, and for some reason I thought that my post revealed those deep feelings.  What was actually posted was nothing like that.... (laughing)  I seriously was avoiding writing more because I knew if I posted anything that people could go back to it..... (laughing) I can be so silly.... What I see in that post was a confidence that things would be better.  A confidence in what I strive for my life to look like even when I mess up or when friends decide that maybe they'd rather not be friends.  What I see in that post is that time really does heal all wounds and that how we react to a situation is SO important.  I did not say what I WANTED to say back then, but now I know that I AM GLAD I DIDN'T!!!  I am quite emotional, and thankfully to all involved, I really have learned to not say exactly what I am thinking all the time.  I have learned a lot about myself since that last post.... I have learned valuable lessons about trust and about choosing carefully those I give my heart to.  So, maybe I will dust off the blog and get back to it.  Learning lessons in relationships is a difficult thing to so.... I assure you that my "list" of things I grimace at myself for is so very long.  Those moments of "WHY did I do that?"  "WHY did I say that?"  I know this, I treasure now more than ever those friends that know my heart and forgive me when I get stupid. 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

No title??

I find myself getting stuck on fun, creative titles.....I blame this on my incredibly creative friends and family who have great blogging practices. I am tired of thinking about that part of it, so maybe no title.  IF there is a title by the time I post this, I thought of one! 

WOW it has been a while since I have blogged..... I have learned something about myself.  I do love journaling, and I find so much inspiration and I relate to so many blogs that I read. I once stated that blogging is therapeutic. Being able to say whatever I want and be honest, without having to actually tell the story to a face. I have learned that being open about the struggles of parenting is easy for me. I welcome the advice and I love having private messages sent from people that relate to our family and appreciate the encouragement. Being a parent, faults and strengths, is afterall who I am most of the time.  It is just that time in my life..... Helping my children grow to be independent adults, making wise choices, choosing friends wisely, having an unwavering faith in a God who gives grace freely when we actually don't make the best choices. Those are the monuments in my life right now..... Being the parent that I am called to be.  SO, my amazing children have my attention and devotions.... sometimes to a fault.  A fault?  Welllll, I sometimes let my heart (and mouth) over power what my mind knows is the best thing.... A friend recently put on FB "Situations that involve my kids, involve me"  The Mama Lion instinct in me roars a little too quickly sometimes. We all want for our kids the best and biggest.... not necessarily a bad thing.... only sometimes it is. Especially when emotions take over.

We have had an amazing Summer and early Fall..... After our super fun vacations, we geared up for school. I am in disbelief most of the time that I now have a 5th grader.   3rd grade and Kindergarten doesn't sound too bad, but when I consider that this is the LAST year of elementary school for Madison, I have to take deep breaths..... over and over again. I remember  A LOT about my year at IA Lewis 6th grade school, and very little had anything to do with academics.  I remember noticing fashion and what was in or out..... I was in a "friendship club" ..... I remember thinking about going to dances and it becoming a fun thing for people to have dances at their house. All of the Ruston elementary schools coming together, meeting SO many new people. The bubble I lived in was beginnging to expand. I remember activities were surfacing..... who was cheerleader or in the band or the basketball team.  This was the year I decided I would be a fabulous Saxophonist.... That didn't work out quite like I planned.  We changed classes and had lockers..... SO many new responsibilties.  It wasn't all good.... I remember my new glasses were MUCH thicker than the year before, and I remember someone asking me once if my mom made my blue jean skirt.... I really chuckle about that at this moment and in these aspects LOVE that I am a rational adult and realize that 6th grade was not defined by that moment.... BUT at the time, I NEVER wore that particular mini skirt again. Too bad, digital cameras were not around back then, I would really like to insert pics of that extremely awkward year for me...... ha!

I think one of the disadvantages of raising your children in the same place you were raised, is all of the preconceived notions of what life will be like.... wanting to change what went wrong, wanting to make the great things even greater. An example???  Remember those THICK glasses I referred to?  I let Madison get contacts in 4th grade!! Not only did I let Madison get contacts, but I may or may not have told the dr who thought she was too young that I would find someone that would give them to her. :)  I promise it was the absolute nicest way possible..... and then he prescribed them :)  Were the contacts for me or her?  I can list lots of reasons she needed them.... mainly dance, but if you had seen my last pair of glasses in 6th grade, you may understand why I allowed my 4th grader to get contacts..... Once again, SO glad that I can see as an adult that life was not defined by that moment, but those glasses were terrible! :)

Why don't I worry about these issues with my boys? It is peculiar to me that I have a more natural confidence in "trying issus" with boys. Don't get me wrong..... there are all kinds of issues..... what to play, how much is too much, football, baseball, coach or not to coach, travel ball and who's on what team, who's NOT on what team, motivating with out provoking....we are constantly teaching them about what it means to be a "Modern Day Knight"  That is actually a MUST READ book for parents of boys.... It is actually geared for dads but moms need to read it, too.  The title is Raising a Modern Day Knight.  Boys just don't seem to get jumbled up in the same JUNK that girls do.  One of my biggest struggles as a parent is to learn how to not get wrapped up in things that Micah and Jon Robert are totally oblivious to because they are BOYS!  Oh how I LOVE boys!!   I must also say that Madison is WAY less interested in all of these things I am referring to than the average girl...... I have no doubt that she wouldn't care one bit if someone asked her if I made her skirt. She would look at them and say,"No." and move on.... she may even laugh and ask if they knew her mom..... because that is clearly not possible.  :) She has never ONCE gotten drawn into all the drama that I hear about from some parents, she is just a laid back girl.  And I pray that she stays that way!    They are such great kids..... I seriously need to just let go of things that will all work itself out....or I need very high powered medication..... I do realize I worry WAY too much about things that will naturally work themselves out.

I appreciate FB for many things....... I have several friends who just inspire me with their status updates. Social networking has its FAULTS.... WOW at the faults, actually WOW at the people who use it for negativity.... I find myself feeling immature/ BEING immature (ha!) sometimes with some of my reactions to FB.  I think we all do that.  But then I step back and just take it for the little that it is worth and KNOW that my one on one relationships, except all of my dear friends I can't see when I want to because they live away from me, are more important.  ANYWAY, (Gosh I feel like I am rambling) I just read a status (because I took a break from typing this) that says something like "Be in the moment, not react to the moment."  People that say things at just the right moment, which this precious friend usually does, are inspirational.  It totally changed where I was going with this post.  Jaime Turner, and I almost put Jaime Callendar!  :) YOU are an amazing person and friend. 

So, where I was going?  I am sure that statement sparked curiosity..... That may or may not also mean sparked nosy-ness! :) No worries, I would totally be curious, too.  In a nutshell, I have been so hurt lately.  I have dealt over the last few months with things that I NEVER imagined I would in my adult life.  I thought that this post would turn from pointing out that it is easier for me to blog about kids than my own person struggles to actually sharing some of my own hurts and how I am struggling getting over them..... Because that is absolutely the case.  However, I don't want to react.... I want to live in this moment and do what it important. LET.IT.GO. And know what matters  Here's what is important.... here's what I want my life to show my kids.... Here's what I want my children to grow up valuing..... THIS is what I value and THIS is what I want my life to be.

Play hard, play sweet, play fair...... when you mess up, because you will, say your sorry, try to make it right.... Not everyone has the same opinions, not everyone is going to like the same things..... ALL people deserve kindness, making sure no one feels left out and everyone feels welcome is a quality that will ALWAYS make new friends.... This is not  something that stops mattering when you are a grown up.... When someone hurts you, be willing to forgive, when you hurt someone, be willing to make it right..... Remember that the only unconditional love comes from Christ, it isn't possible for people to not have conditions..... Lastly, when things fall apart.... whether it be friends, finances, relationships, WHATEVER the situation may be, you must evaluate the situation and fall back on what is true and right... start from scratch everyday. And ALWAYS remember it is easier to start from scratch everyday when you trust and believe that God is bigger than any situation and that joy comes from Him.  "Perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything."  Keep pushing, keep going.....

How about that inspiration for the day???? :)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

What now???

Hmmmmmm........ well, the school year ended with greatness....  My kids are not only beautiful, but love school and do extremely well in school.  I am proud to say that both kids had straight A's for the year AND Micah tested into the Academically Gifted Program.  I don't know why I brag reluctantly about grades and academic achievements.  I think it is because I don't want other people to feel bad or think I am being arrogant.  But, I am so proud.  I won't scream it on FB, but I will on this blog.  :)  They get it from their dad, I think. Although growing up, I drove my parents CRAZY with being more worried about social events than studying.  My dad, who is a PhD and career teacher/administrator always told me I was so smart.  I truly applied my self when I went back to school before Jon Robert was born.  I made straight A's and figured out that I do love school.  I love teaching and learning.  I am glad that my children have figured out to love to learn in their early years.  I am making it seem like I almost failed.  HA!  I did not almost fail and made good grades, but I do think if I had listened to my parents, I would have achieved way more academically. 

Now Nathan, he is what I call a "closet nerd."  When I look at what he has to do dealing with the chemicals in his job and balancing them, I am overwhelmed, my eyes glaze over, I am confused.  :)  His genes are where my kids get their smarts from..... I am convinced.

So school is out, dance is over..... see previous blog post for that beautiful dancing girl.... baseball is over.... there is NO better way to wrap up baseball that immediately heading to the beach!!  Seriously, it couldn't have been better.  Our team placed 3rd (I think, maybe 4th) on our side of the bracket so the boys made it to the final part of the district all star tournament.  I was SO proud of all of them!  The guys stayed and played ball the last day, and the girls plus Jon Robert headed to the beach!!

PANAMA CITY HERE WE COME!!!  Traveling with kids is always interesting, right.  Traveling with pre-adolescent girl and 2 five year old is on a different level of interesting.  Shavon and I call Maribeth and Jon Robert the old grouchy married couple.  They are something!  But we hunkered down and DROVE announcing loudly arrival in each state until we saw the sign.....

It was late and we were tired, but we were in FLORIDA!  The drive suddenly became easier.  I remember vacationing with my parents.  I especially remember the vacation every time I said or was tempted to say "DO I need to turn around???"  "We can go home if you don't want to go on vacation"  I suppose parents have said the same thing for generations and will continue to do in the future......

We finally arrived and could not resist running to the beach.  We unpacked ALL by ourselves.  YAY for us.... with NO luggage cart!  Nevermind the fact that I didn't quite realize that when parked on the fourth floor, I was a tiny bit close to the roof..... Top luggage carriers add a little more than I accounted for!  Who knew that the white pipe little thing on chains swings back and forth when you are too tall when you drive under them???? I think the ceiling got shorter and shorter the higher up we went, so we parked on the bottom floor.

The next morning was glorious.....  the boys were headed to the beach after losing 2 ballgames!  Yay!  What a reward for playing hard!  This view NEVER gets old waking up to.

With boogie boards in tow, we hit the beach.

Deep conversations between the 5 year olds..... when they aren't fighting, they have lots of fun together.  Though I must say, I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall and hear some of these convos!!!!

The guys finally got there and our vacation began...... This was the first really long vacation that we have gone on as a family.  I grew up taking vacations, and I love the memories that I have from those trips.  Vacations, whether you take a STAYcation at home, or travel should be a priority.  Building memories.  My kids will remember this trip for a lifetime.  We decided to go high rise condo instead of the original plan of finding a house with a private beach!  What a great choice!!!  We loved our condo.  It was just big enough for both families.  Plenty enough privacy, though one more bedroom would have been nice.  The price reasonable and the WEATHER WAS UNBELIEVEABLE!  We watched the forecast with great fear that our vacation was going to be a bust.  Not so much a bust for me because I could get used to heading to shop when it rained, but the kids would have been bored..... Heres what all the chances of rain looked like....

Give me this weather ANY day!!  This is how it looked ALL week.  One thunderstorm passed through in the evening, but that was it!

So, to sum it all up..... we cooked in the condo, grilled on the grill, had a shrimp boil that was fantastic--- THANK YOU SHANE!!  We went to the waterpark for a break from the beach, we enjoyed the condo pool parties, we layed by the beach, layed by the pool, sat on the balcony, rode go karts, and ate at great restaurants. 

One of the greatest things about our trip was making some new friends.  The Parettes had friends coming that same week, Shane and Mandy.  Don't you love when new friends feel like old friends????  What a sweet family!!!!  We are already looking forward to next year!

Madison fell in LOVE with Luke and she and Katelyn got along great!! 

And of course there was "Beach picture night"  I am sure everyone recognized the cliche when all 3 families dressed in white and khaki walked onto the beach.  I suppose it never crossed my mind that once you sit sideways in the sad, the sand would stick to my legs.  I guess it never crossed my mind that the little kids would want to LAY in the sand before pics and jump in the water in their good clothes.  My alter personality arouses when it is family picture time.  Others seem so calm.  I feel ready to EXPLODE!!!  Doesn't Jon Robert know that I want this picture size 16x20 in my living room?????  Doesn't Micah know that you can't slouch in a picture????  Doesn't my family know that I am aiming for professional just don't want to pay for it???? ha!  They turned out great!  I have a gorgeous family.  I laugh at the end of the photo session because JR is just rebelling against the camera.  The sand that has creeped in his underwear after LAYING in the sand has him in a fit.  I threatened his life to smile..... that didn't work.... so I moved on to the next best thing..... NO shark tooth necklace if he didn't smile.  NO souvenirs..... that didn't work.  So I resorted to the bribe of what he WILL get.  Yes, bad VERY bad parenting skills.... that WORKED!  So he stopped fussing and through frowning he was still gorgeous.  I did go get him some new shorts after stomping my way to the car.  I am sure the people that saw him trailing behind me are not going to vote me Mom of the Year.  But, I settled down, he said "sorry mom.  I had sand in my underwear."  His face had sorry written all over it, so I calmed down.  The beach pictures were a success and a great dinner at Margaritaville was LOTS of fun. 

After the beach pics we went to Margaritaville.... NO I didn't take the kids to a bar, it is a FUN family restaurant..... The kids had so much fun getting balloon hats from a pirate on stilts and the whole restaurant singing Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville while standing up and on chairs.  Gauge and Madison had the lost shakers of salt and they thought that was fun!

  I don't have anything witty or an amusing story..... I keep trying to remember something.  I guess the overall theme of this amazing week was good friends and good memories.  I take for granted sometimes all of the many blessings I have in my life.  I get down when friends come and go, I focus on too little money, or thinking about the kids growing up.  Then I remember how God has blessed my life beyond measure.  I truly have immeasureably more than I can ask or imagine in this life. I am so thankful so my great friends and family.

If you count Nathan and Matt entering a hoola hoop contest as a witty story, you have your witty story!!!!  LAUGH.OUT.LOUD!!!!  I LOVE that Nathan will try and do ANYTHING without shame.  He and Matt had fun.... that's all that matters, right????  Hilarious!

Jon Robert was SO sad when everyone except him got to do the really big, really fun go kart track.  But was so excited when he could do this by himself.  He started off LAST place and put the pedal down and beat everybody.  It was so funny.  Granted, I am PRETTY sure that the workers put him in the fastest car against all the bigger kids, but I won't tell him that.... I guess he will eventually find out if he reads this blog someday!  :)  YOU were the best Jon Robert!  :)  That car didn't mean a thing! 
Matt's sand castle on the last day..... very impressive!


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A Day Just for Dads

This has nothing to do with Father's Day, but I will say it..... OH it is SO nice that my kids have figured out how to sleep in!!!  And speaking of sleeping in and fathers..... My dad has the mentality "if you can hoot with the owls, you can rise with the chickens."  I am so glad I can recall all of my early morning productivity with my dad.... and smile about it.  ME?  I looooove the quiet.  The quiet is peaceful and though provoking.  THIS particular morning is thundery and rainy....such a pleasant thing in this hot summer.... so I will blog!  :)

Father is biological, dad-daddy-pops-papa..... now those words are relationship.  I truly have a great daddy.  I think it is funny that when I say daddy, even today at 35, occasionally I will get a funny look.  I can't help it, that's who he is to me.  He has worked hard his whole life.... growing up in a gigantic, very poor family.... lots of boys... my poor aunts.  He truly "pulled himself up by his boot straps."  I admire him.

I can honestly say that Nathan Scheer is an outstanding daddy.  Words to describe that fall short.... in fact, there are not enough words.... if there ARE words even.  Most don't know his story.  You should.  If you want to see a glimpse of divine intervention in a man's life, you should talk to "Big Nat."  (pronounced "gnat".... haha.... Maribeth Parette coined that term in all of her sweetness, and I just can't go back to Big Nate)  The END of the story is a great one, after several step fathers, his DAD is awesome.  His father, not so much.  HIS DAD, Charles Huckabee, is his DAD.  Tears stream down my face as I consider what it must feel like for your father to not be around..... for your father to walk away and seem like he doesn't care.  I know he must care.  I just watch Nathan and know that I am SO thankful to NOTHING but God, that Nathan is NOT a product of his environment.  My children's Father's Days will never look like his.  His Father's Days will never look like his biological contributor.  I wonder if he stops on Father's Day and considers what he did as a father.  Nathan's life had a purpose, and one of those purposes was to be DADDY to MY children. 

Nathan's Pa molded his life..... Nathan's Pa is an amazing man.  If you have ever been to one of Micah's baseball games or one of Jon Robert's soccer games, you know who Pa is.  Nathan's Great Grandfather.  Pa has left his mark on many lives, Nathan Scheer is one of them. 

Bloggin "ethics" means Nathan will have to tell his story.... I can only tell mine.... I am leaving that topic now, it is very emotional for me.

WHAT A DAY WE HAD SUNDAY!!  Micah was chosen for Ruston Dixie Baseball AllStars..... we are so proud!  He is a "baby" as far as age goes, and I am SO proud of all that he has learned.  Playing tournament ball with the Ruston Regulators has developed him in unbelieveable ways!  This time last year we were considering whether or not he needed to stay in PeeWee, the first level of pitching machine. 

We showed up Sunday at our tournament, and the boys were proud.  Our little team and the other Ruston Dixie team are TRUE representations of Dixie AA baseball.  We don't stack the sides, we don't choose AllStars before the season.... we don't play them all year so they will dominate at the tournaments.  The jury is still out on how I feel about that.  When little boys go to a tournament head held high because they were CHOSEN as some of the best from the season, you expect other teams to be the same.  Basically, our team got our rear ends handed to us.  We got to play travel ball teams that also play Dixie (like the Regulators that Micah played for).... the difference?  The Regulators were evenly distributed among Dixie teams.  So, now added with the other Ruston talent that didn't play tournament ball, we have FAIR teams representing Ruston.  And we lost. Bad.  There is definitely a positive side to losing....  I think everybody needs to know what that feels like.  It is an added tool in your tool box that helps you with life.  BUT, nobody like to lose.  Nobody likes to lose so bad that it is humiliating. 

What I do know is that we WON!!!!  The umpire came to our coach after the game and told him that our team was a class act.  He said that the attitudes of the players and the fans was great and that he would umpire teams like ours anytime.  THAT is what 8 year old baseball is about, THAT is what 18 year old baseball is about.  Being a true sportsman.... holding your head high, being disappointed not disrepsectful, playing hard even when it looks like you aren't going to win, shaking hands with a smile when 8 year olds with arrogance laugh and call you a loser. Managing disappointment is difficult for ME, I can't remember or imagine what it is like for an 8 year old boy....But I know that not one of our players threw a glove or a bat, or cried, or stomped.  Not one of our boys blamed another team mate for mistakes.  THAT is what makes me proud.  A win is fun, NO DOUBT!  But watching these boys that seem to have more maturity than some of the other coaches, makes me a PROUD MAMA!!!  Seeing smiles on their faces, through the disappointment, sends me a message.  We have an outstanding All Star team..... these boys are a pleasure to watch grow.  The parents are a pleasure to be around.  I have made friends by watching Micah play sports that I value dearly.  The life as a ballpark mom is not one I would have chosen 4 years ago.... I will be honest.  But today, I wouldn't trade it for the world and love every minute!

After all that, I do have bragging rights.  My Micah had an OUTSTANDING BALLGAME!!!!  He hit a true triple, a true double and had an INCREDIBLE play at the plate.  I love watching him!  I love watching his buddies, Josh and Gauge, run to him and hug him on the field after the big play stopping another run. 
Such sweet memories.....

Micah ready..... He is so cute when he is up in this secondary postion..... You don't see that much in AA Dixie.  He is strong as an ox like his daddy.

Sweet friends

Big Nat isn't used to being behind the fence.... but he's getting used to it!  Love this Daddy son coaching time.

Nathan says that the ideal Father's Day would be to watch Madison dance, watch Micah play baseball, and watch Jon Robert play soccer, all on the same day.  All on the same day won't happen I am sure, but OH how I love that I get to do that so often!  All of that mixed with the best friends in the world..... well, true to my blog title.... LOVE TO LIVE!  Who wouldn't love this life I live.  ha!  There are plenty.... I am known as the crazy person to some because of all we do.... I have in fact had some pretty harsh feedback about how this craziness is bad for the kids and me.  I pray I don't live to regret it, but I just can't see how what we do can be negative.  Good family, good memories, good friends, memories to last a lifetime..... Give it to me any day!!!