I make myself laugh sometimes..... well, a lot really, I really do just kind of laugh out loud randomly for something that maybe I should have said or remember saying.... but I mean it in a different way today..... It has been SO long since I blogged and it really wan't because of how busy I was. I could have made time. It was really because in my mind the last blog I posted was really emotional and was a "poor me" story. I was feeling insecure and embarrassed about what I wrote. What I remembered was the hurt I was feeling at the time. I had been deeply hurt by people I considered to be close friends, and for some reason I thought that my post revealed those deep feelings. What was actually posted was nothing like that.... (laughing) I seriously was avoiding writing more because I knew if I posted anything that people could go back to it..... (laughing) I can be so silly.... What I see in that post was a confidence that things would be better. A confidence in what I strive for my life to look like even when I mess up or when friends decide that maybe they'd rather not be friends. What I see in that post is that time really does heal all wounds and that how we react to a situation is SO important. I did not say what I WANTED to say back then, but now I know that I AM GLAD I DIDN'T!!! I am quite emotional, and thankfully to all involved, I really have learned to not say exactly what I am thinking all the time. I have learned a lot about myself since that last post.... I have learned valuable lessons about trust and about choosing carefully those I give my heart to. So, maybe I will dust off the blog and get back to it. Learning lessons in relationships is a difficult thing to so.... I assure you that my "list" of things I grimace at myself for is so very long. Those moments of "WHY did I do that?" "WHY did I say that?" I know this, I treasure now more than ever those friends that know my heart and forgive me when I get stupid.